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  • Writer's pictureDeepthi Rajan

You Will Be Okay By Radhika Kawlra Singh is a Wonderful Lesson in Self-Inquiry

Updated: Apr 15, 2021

“What do we lose when we don’t prioritize connecting with ourselves? How can we get better at self-inquiry?”

This was the question that led me to the book, You Will Be Okay, and to its author Radhika Kawlra Singh, one of India’s premier mind coaches who has coached some of our finest athletes (that include the likes of India’s only Olympic gold medallist Abhinav Bindra and ace cricketer Gautam Gambhir), actors and CEOs.

Steeped in the world of high-achievers and a high achiever herself, Radhika knows why self-inquiry is crucial for lifelong success.

Both in her book and in person, Radhika shares with infinite wisdom and generosity, her proven practical techniques from her mind therapy sessions interspersed with poetry-like verses, that’ll not just elevate your reading experience but also set you on a lasting quest for greater self-awareness, perceptiveness, and compassion.

And my conversation with Radhika on Perseverance Overrated, a podcast sponsored by MyBookWorks, helped clarify many of the lingering questions that inevitably arise when you read an enlightening and life-altering book.

I had several epiphanies as I read You Will Be Okay, some of which I have written here in this post and others that I’ve covered in my conversation with Radhika.

The Narrative Fallacy

If you’ve been fretting about a colleague who isn’t as committed to a project as you are or if you’re feeling frustrated working with a manager who doesn’t seem to know how to mentor his or her team members, then you aren’t alone.

Most of us spend a good deal of our time playing the role of a victim or a martyr because in our minds, we can do no wrong.

It’s others who are evil and are out to get us.

But what if we were to flip that narrative - how different would our lives be?

To give you an idea of how You Will Be Okay shows us that we can be compassionate even when we’re feeling oppressed, say at work by a micromanager or a co-worker reluctant to help out, I hope these lines from You Will Be Okay will help you shift your perspective -

“You inspired me enough.
Even though I was looking to follow only one single instruction.
You are okay”.

We realize our truest potential during some of our greatest moments of adversity, isn’t it?

And often those who we feel have wronged us or made our lives difficult are the ones who end up profoundly influencing our life’s choices.

In fact, when I was reading You Will Be Okay, I began to reflect about the many instances when I’d been less than perfect myself. Yet, we are always so considerate of our own flaws and so unforgiving of others.

Anytime I go down the rabbit hole of critically analyzing others’ actions and intentions, I ask myself this question,

“Have I always been perfect in my conduct towards others?”

Confucius, the ancient Chinese philosopher, summed it up perfectly for all of us about why we need to look inwards instead of spending a lifetime looking outwardly and feeling inadequate.

“When you see a good man,

Think of emulating him;

When you see a bad man,

Examine your own heart.”

Self-Inquiry Is the Best Form of Self-Care

Another place where You Will Be Okay scores big is in the way it gently nudges you to get comfortable with the process of self-inquiry, something that most of have to discipline ourselves to do and that we underestimate the importance of, almost our entire lives.

It’s Okay NOT to be Okay

Often, when aren’t feeling happy or positive, the first impulse of our loved ones is to say, “Come on, cheer up, don’t be sad” to cheer us up.

Nobody likes a mopey face ☹

But sadness just like happiness is integral to life.

You Will Be Okay does a fine job in assuring us that it’s okay NOT to be okay. That it’s okay to feel uncertain, weak, desolate. And that you’ll eventually be okay.

In the Present

Reading You Will Be Okay was an excellent reminder for me to be more patient and, to be in the present, to enjoy what I have in front of me, rather than mulling over the past or the future.

Every Book Has an Audience.

You Will Be Okay is perfect for those willing to do the hard work of getting comfortable with themselves, with silence, with reflecting, with self-inquiry, with reminding themselves that we’re here for a limited period of time and today might just be our last day on the planet.

A strong takeaway therefore for me is that I’ve started to ask myself this question regularly “How do I spend my time intentionally?”.

Asking this simple question has helped me refocus my attention on things that truly matter rather than dwelling over matters that I cannot control.

A must read for those who seek to understand themselves better.

One of the best parts I liked about You Will Be Okay are the verses that Radhika has concluded each chapter with.

These pithy yet profoundly moving poem-like lines, reminded me of the poems by Rumi, the Persian poet.

Reading those lines at the end of each chapter, I’d experience a mix of emotions, from feeling motivated, inspired, positive to even emotional.

To Sum Up

You Will Be Okay is a book that will require you to completely immerse yourself in reading this book to truly experience life-changing perspectives.

It’s one of those evergreen books, akin to a wise mentor, replete with profound wisdom that you’ll return to from time to time, rather that you should return to from time to time, to read and to reflect upon.

From mindlessly chasing goals to fueling a scarcity mindset to tying our self-worth to the thoughts and actions of others, we spend a lifetime looking outwardly and feeling inadequate.

Radhika offers the perfect antidote in the form of thought-provoking perspective and practical techniques to shift focus to what truly matters: YOU.

For the entire conversation with Radhika, listen to the podcast episode here or check out below the full video version on YouTube video

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